Family Guy/The Kiss Seen 'Round the World

The Kiss Seen 'Round the World
Season 3, Episode 8
Airdate	August 29, 2001
Production Number	3ACX02
Written by	Mark Hentemann
Directed by	Pete Michels
← 3x07 Lethal Weapons	3x09 → Mr. Saturday Knight
Family Guy — Season Three

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The Kiss Seen 'Round the World is the eighth episode of the third season of Family Guy, and the thirty-sixth episode overall.

The episode focuses on Meg earning an internship at Channel 5, Quahog's television station, after she develops a crush on news anchor Tom Tucker. Complicating matters is the fact that an annoying classmate she does not like — Neil Goldman — also has gotten an internship.

Cast

Starring: Seth MacFarlane, Alex Borstein, Seth Green, Mila Kunis

Also Starring: Lori Alan (Diane Simmons), Mike Barker, Johnny Brennan, Michael Chiklis, Gary Cole, Hugh Downs (Himself), Ralph Garman (Gene Rayburn), Mark Hentemann, D.D. Howard, Phil LaMarr, Danny Smith, Tara Strong, Nicole Sullivan, Abe Vigoda (Himself), Adam West (Mayor Adam West), Lisa Wilhoit

Uncredited: Josh Peck (Charlie)

Plot Overview

One day while watching the Channel 5 News, Meg develops a crush on news anchor Tom Tucker. She realizes her fantasy to meet Tucker and work with him could be realized when Tucker and co-anchor Diane Simmons announce the station is offering internships for local high school students, so they can gain journalism and broadcast experience.

Meg is offered one of the two available positions, purportedly because of her homliness; the other girls are all very pretty. The other intern: Neil Goldman, a classmate whose crush on Meg is unrequited.

The two are assigned to ride along in the Channel 5 news helicopter when they are fired upon by a sniper named the Mass Media Murderer, who is holding Hugh Downs captive on the roof of City Hall and is threatening to shoot him. During the standoff, the Mass Media Murderer shoots down the helicopter. Meg and Neil, thinking that their deaths are imminent, kiss each other passionately; the kiss is captured on Neil's camera. Downs ends up capturing the Mass Media Murderer and is hailed as a hero.

However, that night on the news, the only footage of the whole incident aired is that of the kiss. Neil reports the incident and makes it sound as though he and Meg are now a couple. The whole thing is exasperated at school the next day when everyone is wearing T-shirts showing the kiss. The next evening, Peter and Lois invite the Goldmans over to dinner, and stubbornly refuse to listen to Meg when she insists she and Neil are not a couple.

Meg realizes the only way she can set things straight is to air a rebuttal. She says the only reason she kissed him was because she thought they were going to die. Before affirming her dislike for Neil and that she never will like him, she then airs interview clips from other girls — and Mr. Goldman, Neil's father(!) — where they state they would not kiss Neil. Neil is devastated and humiliated by the report and climbs the roof of City Hall to kill himself.

Channel 5 learns of the suicide attempt and Tom Tucker is sent to cover the incident. Meg also arrives on the scene to talk some sense into Neil. While there, she overhears Tucker talking with his cameraman about how to edit the footage for that evening's news; he asks if cartoon-like sound effects could be added if a fatal jump is recorded on film. Meg realizes that Tucker is a jerk and loses her crush on him, but she has little time to worry about that since Neil has just lost his balance and is falling toward the sidewalk below; Meg runs in just in time to break the fall. There, she re-affirms her dislike for Neil, but that it didn't mean she wanted Neil to kill himself. Neil says that's OK, since he never actually meant to jump. A man — who in the opening segment calls Peter a phony for mimicking his "expert" playing of an electronic keyboard — shows up and calls Neil a phony.

Subplot

Peter and Lois buy Stewie a tricycle, but it isn't long before a bully steals it. The police ignore Stewie, and an attempt to use the local gym to bulk up (to fight the bully) ends in the gym manager trying to sell him a membership. Stewie realizes he needs to get creative to get his revenge ... and does so when he uses a net launcher to capture his antagonist. He ties up the bully and brings him to the basement to interrogate him. Before Stewie can torture the bully, Lois appears with the tricycle, which had been found on the street. When she asks what's going on, Stewie explains, "We're playing house" — "Roman Polanski's house."