King of the Hill/Death Buys a Timeshare

Death Buys a Timeshare
Season 9, Episode 3
Airdate	January 16, 2005
Production Number	8ABE18
Written by	Etan Cohen
Directed by	Kyounghee Lim & Boohwan Lim
← 9x02 Ms. Wakefield	9x04 → Yard, She Blows!
King of the Hill — Season Nine

Death Buys a Timeshare is the third episode of the ninth season of King of the Hill, and the one hundred seventy-fourth episode overall.

Starring: Mike Judge (Hank Hill, Boomhauer), Kathy Najimy (Peggy Hill), Pamela S. Adlon (Bobby Hill, Realtor, Wendy), Brittany Murphy (credit only), Johnny Hardwick (Dale Gribble, Father), Stephen Root (Bill Dauterive, Jim)

and Toby Huss (Cotton Hill)

Also Starring: David Herman (Consulate Guy, Rich Bowen, Mitch), Sal Lopez (Employee, First Mate, Waiter), Danny Trejo (Lifeguard)

Plot Overview

Cotton plans on taking the money he inherited from Topsy down to Mexico and investing in a timeshare, leaving Hank to try and get him out of it.

Meanwhile, Peggy, Bobby, and Dale try to beat the heat by trying to find a pool.

Notes

Stinger Quote

Bill: Just pour it in the snorkel. Pour it!

Music

• Huey Lewis & The News - "The Heart of Rock & Roll"

• Buster Poindexter - "Hot Hot Hot"

Trivia

Goofs

• When Mitch is talking to Cotton, at one point his nametag appears on the other side of his arm.

Quotes

• Cotton: Well, all the money I inherited from Topsy's estate got me to thinking. Topsy's dead. I outlived my last friend. Dang, it makes a man feel invincible.

Dale: Congratulations on once again outrunning the reaper, sir.

• Cotton: Topsy left me $10,000 to take care of his funeral. So after the cremation and ash bag, I'm still up $9,920.

• Cotton: Car payments? CDs? That ain't good enough for Topsy. I'm gonna use the money to do what he would've done - hell raising and girl chasing.

• Bill: So then Cotton says, "I bet Fatty here can eat 50 potatoes," and the bartender said, "No way." Which of course was a terrible insult to the colonel's honour. Long story short, I was pronounced legally dead. But it was a heck of a weekend.

• Hank: Dad, we have good relations with Mexico right now. I'm not going to let you jeopardise that.

• Cotton: (to Hank) You can't control your wife and she's only half the man I am.

• Hank: I'm worried about my dad. I'm gonna have to go down to that timeshare with him, make sure he doesn't do something crazy. Plus I'll be babysitting Bill. His wages are still being garnished by Columbia House. A timeshare is the last thing he needs.

Peggy: You be careful, too, Hank. You're going down there with a liver, two kidneys, and no timeshare. I expect you to come back the same way.

Hank: Well, if an at-risk kid can't get me to order Sports Illustrated, no one's gonna sell me a timeshare.

• Rich Bowen: O'Kelly has incredible gifts. We're lucky he used them to build the world's finest timeshares.

Bill: It's strange. I fear him, but I am not afraid.

• Jim: I know how you feel, Mister Hill. Afraid to take a chance. If you're like me, your wife would tan your hide if you thought for yourself.

Hank: Yep, that's why I'm not buying. I'm a big 'fraidy cat. I'm barely even a man. My wife chases me around with a rolling pin. It's got nothing to do with timeshares being one of the worst investments there is.

• Cotton: O'Kelly sounds like he's got the smarts of Topsy, the gumption of Brooklyn, and the moxie of Fat Brooklyn. He's like all my old dead friends rolled into one big, live friend.

• Cotton: Looky here, they got the water that don't give you the hot poops. Swanky.

• Bill: Rich, you're all right, all right, but you know what I don't get? Hank was saying if you buy a timeshare in Mexico, you can't even own it 'cause you're a foreigner. How can you buy something that you can't own?

Cotton: Why, that's true. My son is a jackass and a killjoy, but that is a puzzler.