King of the Hill/Dog Dale Afternoon

Dog Dale Afternoon
Season 3, Episode 20
Airdate	April 13, 1999
Production Number	3ABE17
Written by	Jon Vitti
Directed by	Tricia Garcia
← 3x19 Hank's Cowboy Movie	3x21 → Revenge of the Lutefisk
King of the Hill — Season Three

Dog Dale Afternoon is the twentieth episode of the third season of King of the Hill, and the fifty-fifth episode overall.

Starring: Mike Judge (Hank Hill, Boomhauer), Kathy Najimy (Peggy Hill), Pamela Segall Adlon (Bobby Hill, Old Woman), Brittany Murphy (credit only), Johnny Hardwick (Dale Gribble)

and Toby Huss (First Cop, Sniper)

Also Starring: Ashley Gardner (Nancy Gribble), Jonathan Joss (John Redcorn), Billy West (Second Cop, Barber, Gun Club member)

Uncredited: Stephen Root (Bill Dauterive)

Plot Overview

After Dale gets a new mower and rubs it into the other guy's faces, they decide to get back at him by stealing it as a prank, only to watch him unwind.

Notes

Stinger Quote

Dale: Can you mow your lawn in a hurricane? Nope, didn't think so. Ha ha ha ha!

Trivia

Allusions and References

• The title of this episode is a play on the title of the 1975 film Dog Day Afternoon.

Memorable Moments

• While Hank is getting his hair cut, he spots Dale riding his mower through a nearby drive-thru. He gets up to confront him, only for his barber to tell he isn't finished. Hank looks in the mirror and, despite there being nothing amiss to the average viewer, he is mortified and runs back to his seat.

Quotes

• Dale: Hey, I'm going to borrow your drill.

Hank: Where's my mower?!

Dale: Oh, so you want to know where your mower is.

Hank: Yes!

Dale: It ran out of gas down past the gas station. I'll help you pick it up tomorrow.

Hank: You're not touching my mower ever again. You left it out in the street where any weirdo could just rub up against it.

Dale: Hank, what would weirdos be doing near the gas station? (beat) What would weirdos be doing near the gas station?

• Bill: Don't even ask if you can borrow my mower, Dale.

Dale: Like I would borrow that piece of junk. Boomhauer, can I borrow your mower?

Boomhauer: I'll tell you what, man, loan you my Monopoly set. Man, come back dang ol' top hat's gone, boardwalk got mustard stains, and park place, too, man. Dang ol' mom come over, end up playin' Stratego, man.

Dale: Bill, can I borrow your mower?

Bill: Okay.

Dale: Like I would borrow that piece of junk.

• Dale: Say hello to the Allegro X9J, code name "Redeemer" at the Mason mower skunkworks in Sidemount Hood. 73 decibels of twin-barrel four-stroke war cry, all at a price I can't really afford.

• Bill: Can I take her for a spin?

Dale: I'm pretty sure that would violate the warranty, Bill.

• Dale: That is a water-tight seal. I can mow my lawn in a hurricane. Can you mow your lawn in a hurricane, Bill?

Bill: I don't know.

Dale: You can't mow your lawn in a hurricane. Can you, Boomhauer?

Boomhauer: I tell you what, man, if I got that pause-trackin' goin' on, a little choke-hold, man, then start--

Dale: Bullcorn! (as garage door closes) Oh, almost forgot: Hank can you mow your lawn in a hurricane? Nope, didn't think so. Ha ha ha ha!

• Dale: I know what you're here for.

John Redcorn: Dale, this isn't how I wanted you to find out.

Dale: Quit screwing around with my mower!

John Redcorn: You've got to be kidding.

Dale: I don't kid about my mower. Now get inside and start massaging my wife.

John Redcorn: (to Nancy) He's taking some of the fun out of this.

• Hank: You wrecked my mower with you damn soda!

Bill: (tasting) Mmm. It's Mr. Pibb.

Dale: I heard Bobby say he did it. Said he had a score to settle with you. Something about a woman.

• Hank: I think something bad is about to happen to that mower.

Bill: Oh, I doubt that, Hank. It's a brand new mower. (off Hank's look) Oh, I get it.

(beat)

Hank: All right, I'll tell you.

Bill: Thank you, Hank.

• Dale: Look at the date on that paper. That's tomorrow's newspaper. Who would have access to a paper from the future, you might ask? The paperboy.

Hank: That's today's paper, Dale.

Dale: The date on my watch has been set incorrectly. When did the paperboy have access to my watch?

• Bill: The joke's always been on me. All my life, folks are always playing jokes on me. And no wonder. It's fun! (laughs) This isn't some kinda elaborate joke on me, is it?

• Hank: Have you been sleeping, Dale? You got kind of that county fair smell.

• Dale: It's finally making sense. Oswald. Mower. Grassy... knoll. Huh?

Hank: That photo doesn't even look real, Dale.

Dale: Well, I'd like to live in your fairytale world, Hank, but the Fair Play For Cuba Committee is retro-fitting my mower's engine to power Fidel Castro's one-man escape sub.

• Hank: Yeah, but I think we ought to give the mower back. We're putting extra stress on a structure that wasn't up to code in the first place. Let's tell him it was us.

Bill: Well, that's easy for you to say. It's not your naked butt in that picture.

Hank: You took the money.

Bill: Still.

• Hank: Well, when he gets home, tell him it was all a joke and the mower was comfortably lubricated at all times.

Nancy: Okay. I don't know why you'd want to fool Dale like that. I mean, it's not hard, if you're somebody he trusts. But, hey, whatever turns you on. That's what I always say.

• Hank: Dale wouldn't shoot anybody.

Bill: But he is president of the gun club.

Hank: Yes, he is president. But only because he owns the most guns.

• Boomhauer: Hey, yo, Dale, man, come on, man. What you doin' up there, man. Ol' talkin' 'bout goin' crazy, man. Come on down, man...

Dale: Boomhauer, if I ever heard anyone reading a script, that was it.

• Hank: Let me go up there. He'll listen to me.

Bill: Well, gee, Hank, I'd think you'd be the person Dale would most want to kill.

• Sniper: If he starts freaking out, just duck and we'll shoot him in the head.

Hank: Don't shoot him in the head!

Second Cop: Book says head.

• Dale: One shot on the way down eliminates the Gribble problem. Then the Cuban robot soldiers have only Steve Wynn standing between them and Wichita.

Hank: Dale, there are no robots and there are no Cubans!

Dale: If there are no Cubans, how do you account for Desi Arnaz?

• Sniper: Mister Hill, move 6 inches to your left to clear a path for the you-know-what into Mister Gribble's head.

• Dale: You know, you used to be on my list of trustables and it was a very short list. I wasn't even on it. But now... I just don't know. I guess you're not my friend.

Hank: Dale, if I could do it again, I'd... Hey, what the heck is that? I am too your friend. I'm as good a friend as a weirdo like you is ever going to have.

• Hank: Stay calm. If they were going to shoot you, they'd have done it already.

Dale: They want me to wet my pants from fear, but they're too late.

• Dale: I'll never forget you, Hank. I will bury you in my backyard. I'll - I'll dedicate my life to propane. And don't you worry about Peggy. I'll keep Bill away from her.

Hank: I'm fine, Dale, but if you're serious about the propane, I've got some pamphlets--

Dale: You're fine! You were wearing a bulletproof vest. You thought I was gonna shoot you.

Hank: Well, that or spray me with poisonous chemicals. I thought you'd kill yourself right after.

Dale: I would have, too.