King of the Hill/Hank's Back Story
Hank's Back Story is the nineteenth episode of the fifth season of King of the Hill, and the one hundred third episode overall.
Starring: Mike Judge (Hank Hill , Boomhauer, Octavio), Kathy Najimy (Peggy Hill), Pamela Segall Adlon (Bobby Hill, Gina, Woman on Tape), Brittany Murphy (credit only), Johnny Hardwick (Dale Gribble), Stephen Root (Bill Dauterive)
Hank's ambition of competing in a mower race is crushed when he begins experiencing back pain and learns it's because of a genetic disorder that requires him to wear an orthotic device.
Doctor Tate: Thank you, Gina.
Gina: Doctor Tate.
Seen, But Not Heard
- Creedence Clearwater Revival - "Green River"
It's revealed that Hank has Diminished Gluteal Syndrome that has lead him to essentially be sitting on his spine, resulting in back pain for which he is prescribed an orthotic device.
Behind the Scenes
Allusions and References
- After learning he has "no ass" Hank is visibly saddened and goes to sit down, only to immediately stand back up in pain due to the aforementioned condition.
- Dale: Me and my Mason 5000 will do 20 laps around the track at speeds approaching 12 miles an hour. I've chosen you three to be my pit crew.
- Hank: Pit crew? Stuff that, mister. If there's organised mower-racing, I'm in.
- Bill: Me, too!
- Boomhauer: Man, oh, eat my dust, Gribble.
- Dale: Fine. You're all fired from my pit crew. So unless you plan on buying Mason 5000s between now and race day and not having them anonymously vandalised, plan on losing.
- Hank: Dale, it's the man, not the machine that wins races. And I'll say this to you, and to you, and to you: I am the man.
- Peggy: Now, Hank, according to my count this is the fifth or eighth time that your back has gone out this year.
- Peggy: What is it with you mower-racers and your stubborn code of honour? I see a doctor whenever I'm incapacitated and it does not make me any less of a man.
- Bill: There. Just take it. Take it all. I don't want any more junk food in my house.
- Peggy: Oh, Bill, are the rats back?
- Bill: I don't know. I'm trying to lose weight so I have a better chance in the mower race.
- Hank: Well, Bill, you could lose 100 pounds and you still wouldn't be able to take a corner like me.
- Bill: Well, I've got news for you. I could never lose 100 pounds. And you haven't been practising. Your lawn is... shaggy!
- Hank: You say somethin' about my lawn, Dauterive?
- Doctor Tate: Mister Hill, you have a compression of the discs in your lower back.
- Hank: Uh-huh. Do you get a lot of this in your patients who race mowers?
- Doctor Tate: A lawnmower didn't cause this. It's genetic.
- Peggy: Genetic as in fatal?
- Doctor Tate: No.
- Doctor Tate: Mister Hill, you were born with no muscle mass here, no cushioning. For years, you've basically been sitting on your spine. You suffer from a disease called Diminished Gluteal Syndrome or DGS.
- Hank: I - I don't understand. What... What does that mean?
- Doctor Tate: Mister Hill, you have no ass.
- Peggy: Isn't that interesting, Hank? You have one butt cheek bigger than the other, just like my feet.
- Hank: Yeah, yeah, we're made for each other.
- Hank: I'm mowing like I'm back in high school!
- Dale: Colonel, you saved me a phone call. I regret to inform you that your son is wearing saline implants, i. e., falsies on his rump.
- Cotton: Dear God, Hank! You're wearing butt-boobies!
- Hank: It's not for my buttocks; it's for my back.
- Cotton: Didi, come over here. Put your fake ta-ta's next to Hank's. We'll see who's got the bigger melons.
- Peggy: Hank, do not just stand there watching Dale mow a chicken. Get your cheeks down off that line and get yourself back in the race.
- Hank: No, no. I'm done with mower-racing. And I'll tell you something else: I'm ripping up the grass and putting in wood chips. You know how I always hated having a lawn.
- Dave Ulster: Your wife told me about the awful incident with your orthotic. I shared it with the group.
- Hank: I don't know what you're talking about. I am not even confirming that I have a wife.
- Wayne: It's one thing when they call us names. But to play hot potato with your unit? For God's sakes! It's a medical device.
- Hank: That's what I kept saying.
- Larry: Those cruel sons of bitches. Did you get their names?
- Hank: I know their names. They were my neighbours, and my best friends, and... and, uh, my dad.
- Hank: But on a serious note, Peggy: don't ever report a false propane emergency again.
- Peggy: Believe me. I prayed on it, Hank, and God said to me, "Don't do it." But you know what? I knew better.
- Hank: You're gonna eat my exhaust fumes, Gribble.
- Dale: Keep talking, bubble-butt.
- Bill: I wasn't sayin' anything.
- Dale: Not you. I was talking to Hank.
- Dale: Damn, we lost. You worthless piece of junk! But I can still beat Hank. That's even better than winning. Come on, you graceful gazelle!