King of the Hill/Little Horrors of Shop

Little Horrors of Shop
Season 4, Episode 4
Airdate	October 31, 1999
Production Number	4ABE03
Written by	Kit Boss
Directed by	Adam Kuhlman
← 4x03 Bills Are Made to Be Broken	4x05 → Aisle 8A
King of the Hill — Season Four

Little Horrors of Shop is the fourth episode of the fourth season of King of the Hill, and the sixty-fourth episode overall.

Starring: Mike Judge (Hank Hill, Boomhauer), Kathy Najimy (Peggy Hill), Pamela Segall Adlon (Bobby Hill, Clark Peters), Brittany Murphy (Luanne Platter, Joseph Gribble), Johnny Hardwick (Dale Gribble)

and Stephen Root (Bill Dauterive, Buck Strickland)

Also Starring: Dennis Burkley (Principal Moss), Jane Wiedlin (Susie), J. Evan Bonifant ()

Plot Overview

When Buck insists he take a couple of weeks off, Hank occupies his time by substituting Bobby's shop class. He soon becomes popular, making Peggy fearful that she could be denied her third Substitute Teacher of the Year award.

Notes

Stinger Quote

Bobby: Yeah, the big yahoo!

Trivia

Allusions and References

• The title of the episode is a play on the title of the 1982 off-Broadway musical Little Shop of Horrors that was later adapted in its most well known form as a 1986 film.

Goofs

• When Hank turns the corner with Clark Peters, his pants suddenly turn from brown to blue.

Quotes

• Peggy: 20 biology quizzes and not one smiley face. Their grades are plummeting even faster than I did when I fell out of that airplane.

• Peggy: Falling from that plane may have broken my spine, but it could not break my teaching bone, no, not even if one existed.

• Buck: I'm gettin' squeezed by some insurance company pencil-stain who claims workin' too long without a vacation can make you sloppy. And when you're sloppy in the propane biz, people die. And then my premiums go up.

• Hank: You know, after you win Substitute of the Year this time they might just rename it the Hill Trophy.

Peggy: Oh, I can't suggest that, Hank. You'd have to do that.

• Hank: This whole not working thing is going to give me a heart attack, I tell you what. God, that'd be embarrassing. "Hank Hill found dead not working."

• Hank: Dale, you kill any bugs?

Dale: Did I?! No.

Bill: I did! It fell in the big jar of blue stuff where I keep my combs.

Dale: Was it small like an ant or crafty like a fly?

Bill: I'm not sure.

Dale: Fly.

Bill: Ooh.

Dale: I'd come by tomorrow to pick it up, but my plate's full. Situation with a termite. Possibly more than one.

• Dale: Go on, take a spin on the bidet. Or did you think it was a water fountain? (laughs) I did.

• Hank: I shouldn't even have let myself sit on a stranger's toilet lid.

• Luanne: I'm a pre-education major. Maybe I could be a substitute teacher.

Peggy: (laughs) Oh, Luanne, honey, I was not laughing at you, I was laughing at the idea.

• Principal Moss: Okay, Hank, but with your wife already a substitute teacher here, just keep the bitterness and the he said/she said out of my school.

Hank: We have a very good marriage.

Principal Moss: Then I don't want to catch you two making out in the teacher's lounge.

Hank: You won't!

• Hank: (seeing Joseph's birdhouse) Okay, Joseph. Well, I don't see any reason your father needs to find out about this.

• Hank: Now, remember, everybody: goggles might make you look cool, but they're also part of proper safety attire.

• Hank: That's looking good, Bobby. Just remember to clamp your butt-joint.

(Bobby laughs)

Hank: Oh. I get it.

Bobby: I'm sorry, dad, I just...

Hank: No, no, it's okay. You're right. Joke's on me. You should use a mitre-joint here. That will look better.

Bobby: Than a... ?

Hank: Butt-joint.

Bobby: (snickering) Right.

Hank: Okay, son, now you're just rubbing it in.

• Hank: You see, this is why we do shop. Not to be more popular or to get into college, but to sand and drill and chisel things for our moms.

• Hank: Well, hey there, Peggy. Welcome to my classroom.

Peggy: Hank, it's "Mrs Peggy Hill" in front of the voters. Or "Two-Time-Substitute-of-the-Year Mrs Hill". Yes, that sounds more natural.

• Principal Moss: We don't have money for all these fancy teaching aids... like wood.

Hank: You know, the Carl Moss I knew wouldn't --

Principal Moss: Give it a rest, Hank. All parents care about these days is zero-tolerance, drug policies, and literacy. "Why can't Johnny read? Why can't Johnny read?" God, that gets old.

Hank: But, Carl, shop is the foundation of all learning. And I tell you what, a youngster with a tool in both hands has no hands left to do drugs.

Principal Moss: They'll just put the tools down if they want to do the drugs bad enough.

• Hank: I wonder if it was like this teaching shop during World War II.

Bobby: I don't know.

• Principal Moss: Hank, I caught your boy carrying these chisels and screwdrivers and this toothy, pointy...

Hank: Keyhole saw. They're tools, Carl. You used to know that.

Principal Moss: Well, maybe, but according to school board's zero-tolerance policy, anything that can be used as a weapon is a weapon.

Hank: Well, that's just asinine!

Principal Moss: Hey, my hands are tied. If I showed even a little bit of tolerance, we couldn't call it zero-tolerance.

• Hank: Damn zero-tolerance. Using a saw for a weapon makes about as much sense as using a gun to cut a two-by-four. That's how my dad built my tree house. How he cleaned it, too.

• Dale: Bureaucrats like Moss don't respond to reason, Hank. Let's toilet paper his yard.

Hank: It's not just Moss. It's the whole dang school board.

Dale: That's going to take a lot more T.P.

• Peggy: I accept this on behalf of everyone who has ever fallen out of a plane and lived to win her third straight Substitute Teacher of the Year award.