King of the Hill/Man Without a Country Club

Man Without a Country Club
Season 6, Episode 15
Airdate	April 14, 2002
Production Number	6ABE11
Written by	Kit Boss
Directed by	Kyounghee Lim & Boohwan Lim
← 6x14 Of Mice and Little Green Men	6x16 → Beer and Loathing
King of the Hill — Season Six

Man Without a Country Club is the fifteenth episode of the sixth season of King of the Hill, and the one hundred nineteenth episode overall.

Starring: Mike Judge (Hank Hill), Kathy Najimy (Peggy Hill), Pamela Segall Adlon (Bobby Hill), Brittany Murphy (credit only), Johnny Hardwick (Dale Gribble), Stephen Root (Bill Dauterive)

and Toby Huss (Kahn Souphanousinphone, Ted Wassanasong)

Also Starring: Peter Kwong (Mr. Ho, Mr. Tranh), Lauren Tom (Minh Souphanousinphone, Cindy Wassanasong)

Plot Overview

Desperate to get into Nine River Country Club, Kahn tries to woo Ted Wassanasong who seems more interested in getting Hank as a member.

Notes

Stinger Quote

Hank: Pinch me, Mister Ho.

Seen, But Not Heard

• Boomhauer

Arc Advancement

Happenings

• We learn that Hank also sold tractors at some point. This was most likely before he worked at Jeans West.

Trivia

The Show

• This episode introduces Nine Rivers Country Club.

Quotes

• Kahn: Hey, it's a backyard golf course. Regular redneck country club. How many food stamps it cost to play a round?

Hank: Well, it's better than the putting green you have in your back yard. Oh, wait, guys. Kahn doesn't have one, does he?

Dale: Let's see. He's got a hammock, trampoline, a shed, a built-in grill. No. No puttin' green, Hank. Your joke is completely accurate.

• Hank: Well, you see, the alley is sort of like a big ravine. Especially when the sewer backs up.

Bill: Sorry.

• Minh: Why you tell hillbillies we get into Nine Rivers?

Kahn: I was just trying to make them feel bad, but it backfire and wind up bumming me out.

Minh: Nine Rivers turn us down six times already! Last time they send rejection letter, we not even mail in application.

• Kahn: Nine Rivers is only all-Asian country club in Heimlich County. We all-Asian. We should be there.

• Dale: What happens if my tee shot lands on a bird's back and he carries it out of bounds, but then is attacked by a larger bird who grabs the ball and drops it in the hole? Is that still a hole-in-one? 'Cause that's how I'm gonna play it.

Hank: Dang it, Dale. It already happened once. What are the odds of it happening again?

• Hank: It was just an accident, Kahn.

Dale: If that kind of thing bothers you, you shouldn't have bought a house on a golf course.

• Ted Wassanasong: Cigar?

Hank: Oh, don't mind if I - Oh, you probably didn't realise it, but this is Cuban. I'll just go ahead and destroy it for you.

• Bill: I never golfed with a caddie before. I'm gonna treat him like crap.

• Hank: Now, hold on. That Wassanasong fella said I could bring a friend. I'm sure of it. He enunciates very clearly.

• Hank: What are they sayin'?

Kahn: How should I know? They're speaking Chinese. I look Chinese to you?

• Bill: I hate Hank. Leaving us to play with his fancy new friends on his fancy-ass golf course. Oh, God, I hope he comes back. I love Hank.

Dale: He abandoned you, Bill. Quit being such a doormat.

(Dale claps his hands and Bill carries the golf bags)

Dale: Pathetic.

• Hank: Well, no offence, but, uh, isn't Nine Rivers an all-Oriental club?

Ted Wassanasong: All-Asian? No. At least not by design. You see, this club was founded by an immigrant Vietnamese hot sauce tycoon after he was excluded from all the other clubs in Heimlich County. The first members were his friends, who also happened to be Asian. And then their friends joined, also Asian. And so on.

Hank: Huh. It's kind of like Arlen Lanes. Their Tuesday night league's nothing but locksmiths.

• Ted Wassanasong: Think about it, Hank. Talk it over with your wife, Peggy, and son Bobby, age 13.

• Minh: Black car!

Kahn: Aw, it's just a hearse.

• Peggy: You joined an all-Asian country club?

Hank: Peggy, Nine Rivers isn't about whether you're Asian or not. It's about golf and friendship. You'll see what I mean tonight. There's a big banquet to welcome the PGA. Boy, I hope they have forks.

Peggy: All right, Hank, what I'm about to say is not politically correct, but here goes. This whole thing seems odd.

• Ted Wassanasong: And this is the founder of our club Mister Tranh.

Hank: The hot sauce guy?

Peggy: You look much younger on the label.

Mr Tranh: Uh, there's a rooster on the label.

• Peggy: Hank, I'm not sure, but I think we are gods to them.

• Ted Wassanasong: Look, the PGA was going to cancel the tournament here because we didn't have any non-Asian members. We told them Fred Chung was from Hawaii, but they said that wouldn't cut it.

• Hank: And even though Nine Rivers had the most perfectly groomed zoysia grass I've ever seen, there was something it didn't have. You guys. And perfectly groomed kakuya grass, which grows more upright and gives a cleaner cut.

• Hank: Well, I'm sorry, Kahn, but I could not stay there. I just didn't feel comfortable. That's why I left Jeans West, that's why I don't bowl on Tuesday nights, and - Ah, forget it. You wouldn't understand.

Kahn: Oh, yeah. You right. I always feel comfortable everywhere I go. You know, my original name is Smith. I just change it to Souphanousinphone when I moved to Texas!

• Hank: We just came over to give you something.

Kahn: Please! Not in the face!

(Hank hands him a shirt)

Kahn: Rainey St. Country Club?

Hank: Dues are a six-pack every 18 holes. What do you say?

Kahn: I accept your offer. And as new member, I move we kick Dauterive out. (laughs) Seriously. You're on the bubble.