Saturday Night Live/Liam Neeson/Modest Mouse

Liam Neeson/Modest Mouse is the fifth episode of the thirtieth season of Saturday Night Live. It is the first appearance by both the host and musical guest.

Guest Stars: Liam Neeson (Host), Modest Mouse (Musical Guest)

Episode Breakdown

• Kerry at the Beach: Senator John Kerry (Meyers) calls up President George W. Bush from the beach to congratulate him on running such a ruthlessly efficient campaign. While Bush is working hard at cleaning up the "previous administration's mess," Kerry is recovering on a beach. He puts his wife (Rudolph) on the phone, who also congratulates him on winning. Also there is Al Gore (Hammond), who says that losing the election was the best thing to happen to. Bush complains about how all of his staff members are leaving and tries to get Kerry to switch with him. He offers to come up with more votes from Ohio, but Kerry tells him that he needs to lead now.
• Liam Neeson's Monologue: Neeson talks about how he was uncomfortable with the stereotype of the drunken Irishman and asked the cast and writers to avoid that area entirely. Mitchell tells Neeson that he was right and that he won't be playing any pimps or gangster rappers (which is why he won't be in the show anymore that night). Sanz also comes out to say that he won't do Hispanic stereotypes (Neeson thinks he won't be doing overweight stereotypes) and Rudolph complains about stereotypes about people of mixed race. Forte comes out to complain about how middle-upper class suburban white males are always typecast as businessmen or astronauts. Hammond also says that impressionists aren't freaks who can't use their normal voices but his complain devolves into him doing impressions of Don Knotts. Neeson goes out into the audience to cover various audience members' stereotypes like a Native American (Armisen), an Eskimo (Sudeikis) and a Hassidic Jew (Lutz) that Neeson assumes is gay.
• Star's Wedding Night: In Star Jones' (Thompson) apartment, it's the day before her wedding to Al Reynolds (Mitchell). They get a phone call from Liza Minnelli (Rudolph) who congratulates Jones and wishes that she could get married again, except all of the men are either gay or extremely gay. Later, Jones gets a phone call from Barbara Walters (Dratch), who's canceling on her wedding plans. She claims that she twisted her ankle, but is actually just having marathon sex with Sean Connery (Neeson). Jones gets one more call from her cousin Denzel Jenkins (Smoove) who's trying to get the ticket of someone who is canceling. She tells him that he can buy a picture of her off her website because he isn't getting in the wedding.
• You Call This a House Do Ya?: On RTE2, "Buildin'" Finn McQuinn (Meyers) hosts You Call This a House Do Ya?, a show where McQuinn visits an average Irish home and tries to make it look "a bit less crap." At the home of Lorken McArdle, McQuinn gets in the middle of an argument between McArdle and his wife Molly (Poehler) before getting a tour of the house's one room. The home makeover actually just winds up being McQuinn and his construction workers (including Riggle) getting drunk and dancing. When McArdle comes back, McQuinn explains that he emptied the ashtrays, moved a chair, organized his potatoes and moved a mirror. McArdle hits one of the workers with a chair because he moved the mirror.
• Dr. Porkenheimer's Boner Juice: A woman (Poehler) shills for "Dr. Porkenheimer's Boner Juice," a new erectile dysfunction drug that her husband (Riggle) is using. Her monologue quickly devolves into adjectives which crudely describe her husband's penis. An announcer comes on at the end to state that if an erection lasts for less than 4 hours, the user is free to up the dosage as much as they like.
• Pet Parrot: Ronny (Neeson) comes back to his date Phoebe's (Dratch) apartment. After a little wine, he makes a move but she stops him because she wants to introduce him to her baby, a giant parrot named Jasper (Armisen). He tries to carry on with a normal conversation about his deceased wife and how he'd like to kiss her, but Jasper's presence nearly makes him give up entirely on the date. He's convinced to stay and he tells her that he'll try to appreciate the bird, even though it craps on him in the end.
• Wake Up San Diego: Trevor Green (Neeson) and Joyce Ann Golden (Rudolph) host a talk show in San Diego. They banter a bit with their director Toby Fredericks (Parnell) about the opening theme song before introducing themselves. Every time the music plays, which is frequently, the hosts stop everything and dance. They introduce their guest Darnell Martinez (Thompson) and repeat the dancing again. Martinez starts to talk about his house burning down, but the music they play over the montage makes the hosts interrupt once again. The hosts give Martinez a gift to fix his problem, but it just turns out to be a CD of music used on the show.
• Float On: Modest Mouse song.
• Weekend Update:
  • John Ashcroft (Hammond), former U.S. Attorney General, has stepped down from his position in George W. Bush's cabinet. Ashcroft mistakenly believes that everyone widely supported his initiatives like the PATRIOT act but he regrets not being able to ban nude pictures from art museums, making a secret list of bearded people or forcing people to sleep with a hand outside their blanket. He also regrets not being able to pass legislation to lowjack Muslims in American and arrest all people walking in night.
  • Fey and Poehler re-enact Tara Reid exposing her breast at the Academy Awards red carpet with Barbie dolls. They show her drinking, doing cocaine and making out with Paris Hilton.
  • College student Doug Stradley (Meyers) voices warning to all of the government fat cats because the youth vote will be out in force on Tuesday. Of course, the election happened several weeks ago. Stradley tries to explain why he missed the election and passes it off as being the fault of the candidates for being too similar but in actuality he's just ignorant to everything except for the Coors Light twins jingle.
  • Fey and Poehler sing their song "The Party's Cancelled" from 1992, which the BBC claims is the second worst song ever made.
  • Deaf Comedian Richie B (Armisen) and his interpretor Marcus (Thompson) appear to perform stand-up comedy. His first two jokes are about how he's deaf and can't use the telephone. When those don't work out, he starts telling racist jokes about how Adam and Eve weren't black because "have you ever tried taking a rib from a black guy?" Marcus gives up on interpreting Richie B's jokes and instead makes a joke about Richie's small penis while he gestures wildly.
• Appalachian Emergency Room: In this episode of the Appalachian Emergency Room, Nerod (Meyers) sees several backwards hillbilly patients. Percy (Hammond) and Netti Bo Dance (Poehler) are seeking medical attention because Percy has a gutter pipe stuck on his arm and fell off the roof. Willie Tater (Armisen) has an accident involving his penis and a deep fryer. Marlon Weaver (Riggle) and Travis Shankers (Neeson) were transporting medical waste when they crashed the truck and wound up with a bunch of syringes stuck in them. They say they're just here for their medical waste and not for treatment. Tyler (Parnell) has a plastic bowling pin stuck up his ass. Finally, Mrs. Denmont (Rudolph) brought in her son Jake (Thompson), who has his tongue stuck in a temporary tattoo egg machine.
• Drug Sniffing Dog: Two stoners (Poehler and Neeson) are at the police station trying to borrow a drug sniffing dog from the desk clerk (Parnell) so that he can find the pot her hid and can't find. One of the stoners tries to pass himself off as part of a community outreach program. After that ruse is seen through, he claims that his five year old son is on drugs and needs a dog so that they can find his drugs. Every claim he makes gets shot down by the cop and they ask Officer Quinn (Thompson), the black cop. He tells the truth and Quinn says that he'll meet him out back and help him with the dog.
• Ocean Breathes Salty: Modest Mouse song.

Notes

"Live from New York, It's Saturday Night!"

• Will Forte as President George W. Bush.

Music

• Float On, performed by Modest Mouse: The first song performed by Modest Mouse is "Float On," their breakout single from their major label debut, Good News for People Who Love Bad News. The song was the first song by the band to reach mainstream popularity, even though they had released several albums in the past under smaller labels.

• Ocean Breathes Salty, performed by Modest Mouse: "Ocean Breathes Salty" was the second song performed by Modest Mouse and was the second single from their 2004 album Good News for People Who Love Bad News.

Trivia

The Show

• Cut Scene: The rebroadcast of "Dr. Porkenheimer's Boner Juice" omits a moment where they showed Riggle's simulated erection which was shown in the original broadcast on the October 2nd episode.