The Simpsons/Selma's Choice

Selma's Choice
Season 4, Episode 13
Airdate	January 21, 1993
Production Number	9F11
Written by	David M. Stern
Directed by	Carlos Baeza
← 4x12 Marge vs. the Monorail	4x14 → Brother from the Same Planet
The Simpsons — Season Four

Selma's Choice is the thirteenth episode of the fourth season of The Simpsons, and the seventy-second episode overall. At the reading of her Aunt Gladys' will, Selma decides that she needs to have a baby before it's too late. But, a trip to Duff Gardens with Bart and Lisa changes her feelings on children drastically.

Special Guest Voice: Phil Hartman (Announcer, Lionel Hutz, Mandy Patinkin, Troy McClure, Security Guard #2)

Also Starring: Doris Grau (Complaining Woman), Pamela Hayden (Hooray for Everything Singer, Waitress, Princess Opal, Nurse)

Vocal Performance: Michele Pillar ("You Make Me Feel (Like A Natural Woman)")

Plot Overview

After seeing a commercial for a Duff Gardens, a beer themed theme park, Homer and the kids decide to go right that instant. But, as they're getting ready to leave, Marge informs them that Great Aunt Gladys passed away and they need to go to the funeral. They pick up Patty and Selma on the way and drive and, after the funeral, they all attend the reading of Gladys' will, executed by Lionel Hutz. Marge gets a box full of potato chips that resemble celebrities (which Homer eats most of), Jacqueline Bouvier is given Jub-Jub (her iguana) and Patty and Selma are given advice to not die alone, as well as a grandfather clock.

Selma takes these words to heart and starts going to odd lengths to get a date, including hitting on the bag boy, love potions and entering into a dating service. Selma even winds up dating Hans Moleman briefly. After these failures, Lisa suggests artificial insemination and comes away with a mail order catalogue since the local sperm bank is entirely filled with Barney. Marge and Patty, on the other hand, aren't certain that this is such a good idea for her.

On the weekend, when the kids wake their parents so they can all go to Duff Gardens, they find that Homer is deathly ill. He had been eating a 10 foot hoagie for weeks and the spoiled meat and mayonnaise has destroyed his immune system. Patty and Selma step in at the last minute to take the kids to the theme park. There, they're hassled by Surly Duff, go to see the Duff Hall of Presidents, wind up in a long complaint line and in an obnoxious take-off of the "It's a Small World" ride. In the ride, Bart goads Lisa into drinking the water their ride is on, which causes her to hallucinate. She, Bart and Selma get separated during the confusion and they all get thrown out when Bart tricks the worker into letting him on a roller coaster that the safety bar won't protect him on and when Lisa gets in the way of the parade.

At the end of the day Selma decides that kids aren't something she needs in her life. Instead, she winds up with the iguana given to her mother.

Notes

Title Sequence

• Blackboard: "I will not yell "She's Dead" during roll call." The final line cuts off at "She."
• Couch Gag: The family runs into the living room, but is caught in a large net.

Music

• (You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman, performed by Michele Pillar: The song that plays at the end of the episode, with Selma singing and later, during the credits, professionally sung, is "(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman," originally performed by Aretha Franklin in 1967. The song has been frequently covered, but the version sung in this episode was done by Michele Pillar, a Christian singer/songwriter who occasionally does voice work for the show.

Trivia

Behind the Scenes

• Jub-Jub: The iguana owned by Great Aunt Gladys was named "Jub-Jub" by Conan O'Brien, who would constantly say "jub jub" in the writer's room to break silences. He once joked that if he hadn't been saying "jub jub" ad nauseum for months before, the writers would never have gone through with that name.
• Duff Song: The song that plays during the "It's a Small World" parody ride originally had a second verse, but Al Jean and Mike Reiss decided that it would be better if it was just the one line over and over again.

Allusions and References

• Sophie's Choice: The title of this episode is a parody of the book and film Sophie's Choice, about an aspiring writer who befriends a Jewish man and Sophie, a survivor of Auschwitz. The title has entered popular culture as a way of describing two unbearable choices. In the book, Sophie was forced to choose whether her daughter or son lived.

• Mertyl Young: Great Aunt Gladys' potato chips (and Homer's eating them) is a reference to a bit done by Johnny Carson. On The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson, Carson once had a guest named Mertyl Young on who famously had a collection of potato chips that looked vaguely like celebrities. While her head was turned to face sidekick Ed McMahon, Johnny ate a potato chip from a bag hidden under his desk. Young was horrified, thinking that he had eaten one of her prized chips.

• Prince of Tides: As Marge comments, her entire flashback scene in the diner was actually a scene from the movie Prince of Tides, starring Nick Nolte as a man who has difficulty overcoming his dysfunctional childhood. The scene in the movie involved Nolte's mother watching over him and his siblings diving into the water and making the same kind of formation.

• Busch Gardens: Although clearly a parody of Disneyworld, Duff Gardens takes its name from Busch Gardens, a theme park that is funded and owned by the Anheuser-Busch brewery. Anheuser-Busch brews Budweiser and Michelob products and also owns several other theme parks, including Sea World.

• Jim Morrison: Lisa's declaration that she is "The Lizard Queen" is a reference to the title "Lizard King" which Jim Morrison bestowed upon himself. It can also be seen as a reference to "The Acid Queen," a character and song from Tommy by The Who.

Quotes

• 'Duff beer for me, Duff beer for you, I'll have a Duff, you have one too!' (Repeat ad nauseum)

• Selma: Can't you do something?!

Surly: Hey, Surly only looks out for one guy— Surly!

Selma: Sorry, Surly.

Surly: Shut up.