Academy Awards/80th Academy Awards
- This article is only about the awards show, the nominees and winners are beyond the scope of the wiki. See Wikipedia for that information.
- Opening: In an animated opening, a truck barrels through the desert to make its way into Hollywood, which is literally overrun with characters from movies. It dodges Megatron from Transformers, The Hulk and other such obstacles until the driver (revealed to be Arnold Schwarzenegger), parks at the Kodak theater and opens the back to reveal dozens of Oscars.
Host Jon Stewart is introduced to much applause and launches immediately into talking about the writers strike, referring to the Oscars ceremony as "make-up sex." He makes fun of Vanity Fair calling off their Oscar party in support of the writers, who are not invited to the party anyway, and suggests that the strike is over because of the Oscars and they deserve to give themselves some props on the night they give themselves golden statues.
Stewart moves on to talk about all of the nominated movies with murderers in them, asking if Hollywood needs a hug. He also talks about Atonement capturing "the passion and raw sexuality of Yom Kippur," and how happy he is that Norbit got a nomination because "too often, the Academy ignores films that aren't good." He pokes fun at Dennis Hopper not knowing where he is, Diablo Cody getting a pay cut by quitting being a stripper to be an Oscar nominated screenwriter.
After the obligatory comments about the nominees, Stewart moves to talking about the presidential race. When considering the Democratic race between Barack Obama and Hilary Clinton, Stewart jokes that "normally, when you see a black man or a women president, an asteroid is about to hit the Statue of Liberty." He applauds Barack Obama for being a viable candidate despite his name, saying that "Gaydolf Titler" certainly had a hard time in his campaign.
- Stewart watches Lawrence of Arabia on his iPhone, commenting on how amazing "new media" is while still making fun of the fact that you can't see anything on such a small screen.
- When introducing the first song nominated for Best Original Song, Stewart introduces Enchanted and blows into a harmonica to get into tune. He struggles through the first bar of the song, which he makes up entirely, before realizing that they have professionals to sing the songs.
- Stewart gushes about how great he thinks Cate Blanchett is because she's nominated for playing Queen Elizabeth and Bob Dylan. He also mentions that in the scene where Josh Brolin's character in No Country for Old Men is being chased by a pitbull, she was the pitbull. He also admits to being played by Blanchett right on stage.
- Stewart tries to translate Javier Bardem's Spanish acceptance speech, which he believes amounted to him telling his mother where the library is. He moves on to show several absurd montages that they would have been forced to air if the strike continued on. These montages include a salute to binoculars and parascopes and a salute to bad dreams.
- Referring back to an earlier offhand comment, Stewart corrects himself to say that there are actually three pregnant actresses in attendance: Jessica Alba, Cate Blanchett and Nicole Kidman. After introducing all three "nominees," he awards the baby to Angelina Jolie, who isn't at the awards because it's tough to get 17 babysitters on Oscar night.
- Although Halle Berry and Judy Dench are introduced as the presenters, Jonah Hill and Seth Rogen have assumed their roles because neither could be there. To make things easier, Hill and Rogan decide to read the script as it was written for the original presenters. But, before they get to the script, Hill tries to take the Berry role, saying that Rogan doesn't give off a Halle Berry vibe. Hill calls him a baby and gets to the nominations. After the winners finish their speech, they go right back to bickering over who should be Halle Berry. They both claim to be her until Rogan interrupts, saying "I'm Halle Berry!" and reading the nominees before Hill can say anything.
- Following a commercial break, Stewart plays Wii Tennis on the giant screen with Jamia Simone Nash. Much to his surprise, he wins the match but is winded from the effort.
- Jennifer Garner - Best Costume Design
- George Clooney - Introduced a segment honoring the 80-year history of the Academy Awards
- Steve Carrell & Anne Hathaway - Best Animated Feature
- Katherine Heigl - Best Makeup
- Dwayne Johnson - Best Visual Effects
- Cate Blanchett - Best Art Direction
- Jennifer Hudson - Best Supporting Actor
- Keri Russell - Introduced "Raise It Up" from August Rush
- Owen Wilson - Best Live Action Short Film
- Barry Bee - Best Animated Short Film
- Alan Arkin - Best Supporting Actress
- Jessica Alba - Introduced highlights from the Scientific and Technical Awards
- Josh Brolin & James McAvoy - Best Writing - Adapted Screenplay
- Sid Ganis - Explained the Academy Awards selection process
- Miley Cyrus - Introduced "That's How You Know" from Enchanted
- Jonah Hill & Seth Rogen - Best Sound Editing
- Jonah Hill & Seth Rogen - Best Sound Mixing
- Forrest Whitaker - Best Actress
- Colin Farrell - Introduced "Falling Slowly" from Once
- Jack Nicholson - Introduced montage of previous Best Picture winners
- Renée Zellweger - Best Film Editing
- Nicole Kidman - Honorary Academy Award
- Penelope Cruz - Best Foreign Language Film
- Patrick Dempsey - Introduced "So Close" from Enchanted
- John Travolta - Best Original Song
- Cameron Diaz - Best Cinematography
- Hilary Swank - Presented In Memoriam montage
- Amy Adams - Best Original Music Score
- Tom Hanks - Best Documentary Short Subject
- Tom Hanks - Best Documentary Feature
- Harrison Ford - Best Writing - Original Screenplay
- Helen Mirren - Best Actor
- Martin Scorsese - Best Director
- Denzel Washington - Best Picture
- Amy Adams - Happy Working
- Jamia Simone Nash - Raise It Up
- Kristin Chenoweth - That's How You Know
- Glen Hansard & Markéta Irglová - Falling Slowly
- Jon McLaughlin - So Close
In Order of Presentation
- Roscoe Lee Browne
- Barry Nelson
- Kitty Carlisle Hart
- Betty Hutton
- Calvin Lockhart
- Jane Wyman
- Melville Shavelson
- Curtis Harrington
- Jack Valenti
- Michael Kidd
- Michelangelo Antonioni
- Delbert Mann
- Montague "Monty" G. Westmore
- Peter T. Handford
- Bud Ekins
- Bernard Gordon
- Dabbs Greer
- Jean-Claude Brialy
- Harold Michelson
- Laraine Day
- Jean-Pierre Cassel
- Louis Maxwell
- László Kovács
- Robert Clark
- George Jenkins
- Johnny Grant
- Frank E. Rosenfelt
- Martin Manulis
- Sembene Ousmane
- Freddy Fields
- Robert Lantz
- Ray Kurtzman
- Miyoshi Umeki
- Suzanne Pleshette
- Deborah Kerr
- Petter Ellenshaw
- Peter Zinner
- Freddie Francis
- Ingmar Bergman
- Ray Evans
- William Tuttle
- Heath Ledger
- When Ethan and Joel Coen are accepting their award for Best Writing - Adapted Screenplay, the camera cuts to a man with white hair next to a young boy. This is Cormac McCarthy, the author of the novel No Country for Old Men and his song. McCarthy very rarely makes public appearances.
- The ceremony was written by Jon Macks, Hal Kanter, Buz Kohan and Bruce Vilanch. Special material was written by Jon Stewart, Rory Albanese, Rachel Axler, Kevin Bleyer, Rich Blomquist, Steve Bodow, Tim Carvell, J.R. Havlan, David Javerbaum, Rob Kutner, Sam Means and Jason Ross.
- After the award for "Best Original Song" was awarded to Glen Hansard and Markéta Irglová for their song "Falling Slowly" from Once, Hansard was able to give his speech but Irglová was cut off early by the orchestra before she could say a word. In a rare move, after the commercial break which followed, Stewart brought Irglová back out on stage to give her speech. Director Gil Cates said afterwards that the musical cue was an accident.
- Instead of presenting the short form documentary award himself, Tom Hanks introduced several soldiers stationed in Iraq, who announced the nominees and the winner.