It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia/The Gang Exploits a Miracle

The Gang Exploits a Miracle
Season 2, Episode 7
Airdate	July 27, 2006
Production Number	1P02009
Written by	Charlie Day, Chris Romano, Eric Falconer
Directed by	Daniel Attias
← 2x06 The Gang Gives Back	2x08 → The Gang Runs for Office
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia — Season Two

The Gang Exploits a Miracle is the seventh episode of the second season of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and the fourteenth episode overall. After noticing a similarity between a water stain on a wall of the bar and the Virgin Mary, the gang exploits this for profit. Mac and Charlie become competitive over who is the better preacher, while Dee seduces an old high school aquaintance so that he will bless the stain for them.

Guest Stars: David Hornsby (Father Matthew Mara), Gina Morelli (Hispanic Woman), Jack Axelrod (Father O'Grady), Philip Perlman (I.V. Man)

Plot Overview

Charlie finds water damage in his office which he uses as an excuse to sleep at the bar over the night. Mac goes into the office and thinks that the water stain looks like the Virgin Mary. At Frank's suggestion, they decide to exploit it for profit. Dennis does an interview with the local tv station and people start coming in to see the stain and giving donations. A guy they knew from high school who is now a priest, Matty, comes in to see the stain.

Frank suggests that they get the Priest to bless the stain so they will get more publicity. The gang tries to get Dee to convince him because he had a crush on Dee in high school. She refuses at first but they use reverse psychology to get her to do it. She approaches Priest Matthew outside of the chapel and asks him to bless the stain, but his childhood memories tell him to not trust her.

At the bar, a woman asks Mac to bless her. This changes his mind about the stain. He decides to bless people and Charlie becomes his right hand man. Meanwhile Dennis has been fasting for three days because he is worried that his face looks fat. Frank, on the other hand, goes to a crazy old drunk priest that he knew and asks him to bless it. Meanwhile Dee goes to see Matthew at the confessional and tells him that she loves him.

Charlie dresses up in an all white suit to be Mac's sidekick. Instead, people start asking Charlie to bless him and Charlie starts to think that he might be the messiah. Mac is outraged and challenges Charlie to a competition. Mac preaches to the audience at the bar while Charlie ridicules his interpretations of scripture. The people seem to be taking to Charlie's speaking. Frank brings in the crazy old drunk priest to bless the stain but instead the priest urinates on it. Matty comes to the bar and tells Dee that he has left the priesthood to marry her. She tells him that she only said those things at the confessional because she thought he could never do anything about them.

Arc Advancement

• Charlie is now sleeping in the bar manager's office because he has been too drunk to come home.

Quotes

• Charlie: Remember the time you said you'd kiss him if he ate a horse turd.
  Dennis: Oh, he ate the whole turd.
  Charlie: The guy eats the whole thing. Then, she doesn't kiss him because she says..
  (Charlie and Dennis in unison): his breath smelled like shit.
  (everyone besides Dee laughs).

• Charlie speaking to a small audience: Here's a confession. I'm in love with a man. *pause* What? I'm in love with a man. A man called God. Does that make me gay? Am I gay for God? You betcha.

• Mac: Yeah, you want to have a little competition?
  Charlie: Like what?
  Mac: Let's go toe to toe on the bible, bitch.
  Charlie: Ask and ye shall receive, sucka.