King of the Hill/Not in My Back-Hoe

Not in My Back-Hoe
Season 4, Episode 8
Airdate	November 28, 1999
Production Number	4ABE06
Written by	Paul Lieberstein
Directed by	Shaun Cashman
← 4x07 The Hank's Giving Episode	4x09 → To Kill a Ladybird
King of the Hill — Season Four

Not in My Back-Hoe is the eighth episode of the fourth season of King of the Hill, and the sixty-eighth episode overall.

Starring: Mike Judge (Hank Hill, Boomhauer), Kathy Najimy (Peggy Hill), Pamela Segall Adlon (Bobby Hill), Brittany Murphy (Joseph Gribble), Johnny Hardwick (Dale Gribble), Stephen Root (Bill Dauterive)

and Toby Huss (Mega Lo Employee, Kahn Souphanousinphone)

Also Starring: Ashley Gardner (credit only), Dave Thomas (Jimsey)

Special Guest Voice: Drew Carey (Hal)

Plot Overview

Hank meets a like-minded guy named Hal and begins spending a lot of time with him. This time away makes Bill and Dale jealous.

Notes

Stinger Quote

Dale: (rolls tongue) (spits) (gulp)

Music

• Travis Tritt - "Move It On Over"

• Kenny Rogers - "The Gambler"

Arc Advancement

Referbacks

• Hal takes Hank to a revolving sports store in McMainerberry he says used to be a restaurant. Said restaurant is the same one Hank and Peggy visited on their anniversary in "As Old as the Hills".

Trivia

Memorable Moments

• Hank stops by some guys to find Bill and Dale by showing them a picture. They shake their heads, but when he shows them a picture of the back-hoe, they all point the way.

Goofs

• Hank shows up in the alley with beer. When Boomhauer shows up, Hank tears one off and gives it to him. Boomhauer then proceeds to drink from the can despite it having not been opened.

Quotes

• Bill: It's the biggest septic tank they had. They sold one just like it to a bowling alley in Austin.

Dale: Guy tried to put us in a little home unit. I told him, "You don't know Bill."

Bill: Yeah, that's what he said.

Hank: It's a shame we have to put her in the ground.

• Hank: (to Bill) You just killed your whole back lawn. A perfectly innocent lawn.

• Dale: Hank, you were right about it being complicated, but wrong to make me want to try it so badly.

• Hank: No, that's a straight pipe. I'm looking for an L pipe.

Clerk: L's are straight.

Hank: Lower-case, maybe, but... Okay, fine. I'm looking for a capital L pipe. It bends at a right angle.

Clerk: Pipes don't bend. All pipes are straight.

Hank: All pipes can't be straight. If they were, your department store wouldn't be selling those U pipes right behind your shoulder!

Clerk: Those aren't pipes.

• Luanne: So then my professor says to me that I have the greatest potential of any Junior College student that he's ever seen. And then he asked me to dinner to talk about it some more! And drinks!

Peggy: Dinner? And drinks? Luanne... honey, I'm so proud of you!

• Peggy: Well, what are you smiling about?

Hank: Oh, well, I met a guy.

Peggy: Uh-huh.

Hank: Yeah, at the Mega Lo Mart. We have the same truck, same year, same colour. Smart guy, too. He knew what an L pipe was for. It was nice.

Peggy: Are you going to see him again?

Hank: Oh, I don't know. You know, just a one-time thing with a guy in a parking lot. You know, that's all.

• Hank: Did you stop to think that maybe the back-hoe wasn't the best tool for opening up a beer can?

Bill: Yeah, Hank, I did.

• Hank: What would you guys think if someone had a beer with us out here?

Bill: Like someone just wanders over, like a stranger?

Hank: No. No, this guy I know. Good guy.

Dale: It's a big alley.

• Hal: Say, look, uh, Hank, told me about your situation and I was thinking you could just use a metal detector to trace the pipes back to your tank.

Dale: Ha! Metal detector? The detector would go off constantly due to the high level of extraterrestrial alloy in our soil, which acts as a homing beacon to the Martian capital of (rolls tongue) (spits) (gulp) City.

Hank: (laughs nervously) Yeah, yeah. That's a good joke, Dale. Dale sure can tell a joke.

• Dale: You said you'd be back in a minute. We waited a minute. Then we waited another.

Bill: Then after about a million minutes, I forgot why I was counting.

• Dale: (into a tape recorder) 10:15, Hank picks up Hal.

Bill: What?

(Dale plays back tape)

Dale: (on tape) 10:15, Hank picks up Hal.

Bill: (on tape) What?

Dale: I said, "10:15, Hank picks up Hal!"

• Dale: That was our project.

Hank: You should be thanking me. Hal worked that back-hoe so fast we're gonna save a couple days rental.

Bill: Yeah and with the money you saved you can buy your friend Hal a dozen roses!

Dale: Now you're buying him roses?! That's it, Hank. It's us or him.

Hank: You can't make me choose.

Bill: Us or him!

Hank: Alright. Him.

Bill: "Him" means Hal, you know. That's the way we phrased the question.

• Bill: You know where I think we went wrong? Making him choose.

Dale: Where we went wrong is not staying with that back-hoe. Whoever controls the back-hoe, controls Hank.

Bill: You think?

Dale: Yes, I do think. As long as we're - for lack of a better word - "incompetent" with the back-hoe, we will be Hankless.

• Dale: You're lucky. You're in the army. You've got a tracking device in your teeth. They'll find you.

Bill: I'll tell them where you are.

Dale: You're good people.

• Dale: An exterminator in a pet cemetery. I have many enemies here.

• Hank: Saturday's Bobby's football game and he really likes me to watch it with him.

• Dale: We invested all that time and effort, maybe, in Hank, and he has forsaken us!

Bill: Well, everything forsakes me. I mean, sometimes I - I think I should just... stop putting myself out there.

Dale: We don't need Hank. We are two beta males at the top of our game!

Bill: And you didn't mention that we're lovable and that I've got a lot of love to give.

Dale: I know!

• Kahn: I saw them drive off on joyride with back-hoe. You mean they missing? Minh! Yeah, hey, Minh! Two down, two to go!

• Hank: All right, look, you guys are something Hal will never be: my neighbours.

Dale: Apology accepted.