King of the Hill/Yankee Hankie

Yankee Hankie
Season 5, Episode 10
Airdate	February 4, 2001
Production Number	5ABE06
Written by	Kit Boss
Directed by	Adam Kuhlman
← 5x09 Chasing Bobby	5x11 → Hank and the Great Glass Elevator
King of the Hill — Season Five

Yankee Hankie is the tenth episode of the fifth season of King of the Hill, and the ninety-fourth episode overall.

Starring: Mike Judge (Hank Hill, Boomhauer), Kathy Najimy (Peggy Hill), Pamela Segall Adlon (Bobby Hill, Daughter), Brittany Murphy (credit only), Johnny Hardwick (Dale Gribble), Stephen Root (Bill Dauterive, Topsy, Radio Announcer)

and Toby Huss (Cotton Hill, Driver)

Also Starring: K Callan (Tillie Hill)

Special Guest Voice: Edward Asner (Stinky)

Special Guest Voice: Jack Carter (Irwin Linker)

Plot Overview

Looking for his birth certificate Hank learns he was born in New York. When Hank brings this revelation to Cotton, it reminds to pick up the plot to kill Castro he and his buddies attempt 40 years ago.

Notes

Stinger Quote

Cotton: Well, I suppose - Sucker punch!

Seen, But Not Heard

• Didi Hill

Arc Advancement

Happenings

• Cotton, Didi, and G.H. have now moved into an apartment.

Characters

• It's revealed that Hank was actually born in New York City, New York.

Trivia

The Show

• It's revealed Tillie and Cotton's middles names are Mae and Lyndal, respectively.

• The URL for the site Dale gets Hank's birth certificate is actually hankhill.com.

• It's revealed that Hank is 41 years old.

Allusions and References

• Dale teases Hank by suggesting he say "yada yada yada," referring not to Seinfeld, but specifically the episode "The Yada Yada".

Goofs

• The South Carolina state flag is the wrong colour. The background should be blue; not yellow.

Quotes

• Hank: Any sign of my birth certificate yet?

Peggy: To be perfectly honest, no.

• Hank: I'm pretty sure the license people are gonna need to see a birth certificate. Otherwise, you'd have a bunch of Oklahomans trying to get Texas Native plates.

• Cotton: Is that a kiwi in there? You know how I feel about hairy fruits.

• Hank: God, maybe I really am adopted.

Peggy: Well, there would be clues. Think back to when you were a child. Now, Hank, did your parents ever tell you you were adopted?

• Hank: Hank. How do I even know that's my name? My real parents might have called me Henry or Chris. God, Peggy. What if I'm a "Chris"?

• Hank: Well, if I was adopted that means my real dad could be anybody. Hey, maybe even Tom Landry. I do have his strong chin and love for the flex defence. I wonder if I would have called him "dad" or "coach"? Aw, who am I kidding? It would have been "sir".

• Dale: It says here your birth parents were Tillie and Cotton Hill.

Hank: Well, I guess that's a relief. At least I can keep loving my mom.

• Hank: How come you never told me I was born in New York?

Cotton: What?! New York? You wasn't. You was adopted! Yeah. Aw, worst 50 bucks I ever spent. Could've got me a matching pair of Chinese babies for 10.

• Cotton: Maybe it was my fault for loving your mother so much, back when she was still worth loving.

• Cotton: I never told you because I didn't think you were man enough to handle it. Not being born in Texas, you weren't!

Hank: Well, thank you, I guess for not leaving me there.

Cotton: Don't thank me. Thank your mother.

• Cotton: Topsy? Yeah, remember that thing we said we were gonna do but never did? No. No, no, we did that. We did the hell out of that!

• Peggy: Now, Hank, if being born here is so important why did you marry me?

Hank: I didn't marry you right away. Believe me, I had to pray on it.

Peggy: Maybe you should have opened your eyes and then your Bible, Hank. "Red and yellow, black and white we are all precious in His sight."

Hank: Nothing in there about New York.

Peggy: Well, Sodom is in there, Hank, and Gomorrah. And they are New York as all get out.

• Bobby: Dad, is what Joseph's been telling everyone at school true? About where you're from?

Hank: I'm sorry, Bobby. I'm from New York.

Bobby: Get out! I always knew I had a little New York in me. Now I know where it came from. Did you meet Woody Allen and hang out in the Village?

Hank: I left when I was three days old, okay?

Bobby: Oh. Ever think about moving back?

Hank: No!

• Cotton: Irwin, get in here and give me a hand!

Irwin Linker: I ain't getting in no damn hole until I'm dead.

• Cotton: Kill, Topsy! Kill!

• Hank: I can't even drive like a Texan anymore, Peggy. I think my truck might be too much vehicle for me.

Bobby: Dad, come on, you'll be okay. You just need what mom likes to call closure. I think we should all go to New York.

Hank: The only closure I need is of your mouth, mister.

• Tillie: Wait! Cotton's trying to pin this on me? It was his idea to go to New York!

Hank: What? Well, then one of you is not telling the truth. (beat) Ah, hell, I know it's him.

• Cotton: And at midnight we rendezvous in San Antonio with one Jorge Lopez. As you know, he's half Mexican, half Cuban. For this job, we'll be using the half that's Cuban.

• Irwin Linker: I guess I could take a few people in my Cadillac car, but I don't wanna.

Cotton: You idiot. We can't use our own cars. Remember how the cops tracked you down when you hit that fire hydrant? We're hitting more than a fire hydrant this time!

• Hank: It's your fault I was born in New York, and I can't drive my truck, and I tried a bagel and I actually liked it.

• Cotton: The point of tonight is to kill Castro and bring back his chin pelt.

Hank: What about making me a Texan? Wait. All this was about trying to frame me?

Cotton: Oh, you won't fry for it. We're just covering our own tracks. Who'd believe you'd be man enough to kill Castro?

Hank: Dad, you can't kill Castro. For God's sakes, you're not even supposed to drive at night.

• Hank: 41 years old and I didn't see it coming.

• Hank: I've got to hide my nudity.

• Hank: (getting out of taxi) Thanks for the lift. I don't normally hitchhike.

• Cotton: All right, prepare to cast off. First we got to figure out the direction of the wind. (sticks his finger in his mouth and out into the air) Who's got saliva?

• Cotton: I just wanted to kill Castro.

Hank: I know, dad. I know.