Mr. Show with Bob and David/"Please Don't Kill Me"

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"Please Don't Kill Me"
In my day we viewed bloody photos, but they didn't make me go 'round choppin' me head off!
Season 3, Episode 5
Airdate October 24, 1997
Production Number 306
Written by Bob Odenkirk
David Cross
Jay Johnston
Bill Odenkirk
Brian Posehn
Dino Stamatopoulos
Paul F. Tompkins
Mike Upchurch
Directed by Troy Miller
John Moffitt
← 3x04
"Flat Top Tony and the Purple Canoes"
3x06 →
"Goin' on a Holiday"
Mr. Show with Bob and DavidSeason Three

"Please Don't Kill Me" is the fifth episode of the third season of Mr. Show with Bob and David, and the fifteenth episode overall.

Guest Stars: Arlene Afshangol, Dorothy Barnett, Brandon Marriot, Laura Milligan, Theresa Mulligan, Tina New, Jimmy Orestis, Sam Sarpong, Eban Schletter, Eliza Watts, Doug Benson (Telethon Worker (uncredited))


Plot Overview

Bob and David institute a Mr. Show Swear Jar and proceed to swear as much as possible for charity.


  • Swearing Jar Open
  • TV Ministry Link
  • Swearing Preacher
  • Rolling In It/Ferrari Poster Link
  • Landlords
  • Victor & Dylan
  • Fad Three
  • Hunger Strike
  • Mayostard/Mustardayonnaise
  • Announcer Donate to Telethon Link
  • Evil Genius Telethon
  • Mustmayostardayonnaise Cold Tag


Hey, Everybody: It's Bob and David

"Hello, sexies, it's Bob and David."
Jay Johnston as Mustardayonnaise Lincoln

Special Thanks To

Noam Chomsky


The Show

Behind the Scenes

Allusions and References

Memorable Moments


  • Bob: Every time a cast member swears, they have to put a nickel in the swearing jar.
    David: The money goes to Swears For Cares, an non-profit organization committed to raising money through swearing.
    Bob: So hopefully, we'll make a little difference.
    David: [holds up a nickel] A little *fucking* difference.