Saturday Night Live/Ludacris

Ludacris is the sixth episode of the thirty-second season of Saturday Night Live, and the six hundred and thirteenth episode overall.

Guest Stars: Ludacris (Host/Musical Guest)

Special Guests: Mary J. Blige (Herself)

Episode Breakdown

• Special Address from President George W. Bush: President George W. Bush (Sudeikis) talks about developments from the Asian economic conference. The first development is that there's a great deal of progress in trade, but the second is that America is now at war with Vietnam. Despite his attempts to not get into another war with Vietnam, he accidentally started one. He tries to make it sound positive by saying that it will lead to troops being pulled out of Iraq.
• Ludacris' Monologue: Ludacris explains what the difference is between Chris Bridges (his real name) and Ludacris (his stage name). For instance, he's Ludacris when he's in the studio, but when he's stopped by a cop he's Chris Bridges. He says that he picked the name Ludacris because it's original, like he is, but his childhood friend Rick Barnes (Thompson) or "Rickdiculous," appears and claims that Ludacris ripped off his entire style.
• Young Douglas: Hypin' the Classics: Young Douglas (Ludacris), a background hyper for artists like Eminem and Snoop Dogg, advertises a new duets album with adult contemporary artists performing ballads. He performs with Harry Connick Jr. (Sudeikis), Barbara Streisand (Rudolph), James Blunt (Samberg), Dolly Parton (Poehler) and Louie Armstrong (Thompson).
• How to Save Your Marriage: An infomercial hosted by Samantha Hawkins (Rudolph) tells the audience about how they can save their marriage using a new technique available only in the infomercial. She introduces Pete & Donna Longhorne (Sudeikis and Wiig) and Debra and Jody Preston (Poehler and Hader), who tell their stories about fighting with each other but have solved their problems with the help of Dr. Archibald Bitchslap (Ludacris). They show an example of The Bitchslap Method tapes by showing Hawkins and her partner slapping mannequins and calling them bitches.
• The O'Reilly Factor: In a parody of The O'Reilly Factor, Bill O'Reilly (Hammond) reprises his old argument that Pepsi's hiring of Ludacris as a spokesman, when O'Reilly discovers that Ludacris has been signed to a lucrative contract with DefJam Records. He speaks to Michael Dantley (Thompson), vice president of the record label, but O'Reilly attempts to push a boycott on his record label and apply his morals to his company. Dantley decides that he'll take his chances with the Factor's boycott. He moves on to a man who "beat an 8 year old girl to death" and was later nominated by a judge as man of the year, with commentary from legal correspondent Anthony Brooks (Ludacris). Brooks explains that the man gave the girl a scholarship, not a fatal beating and the girl was 25. He reads some viewer mail about his segment that insisted that the Mississippi is the longest river in the world, then berates someone who corrects him.
• Booty Bidness Workwear: Ludacris introduces his new line of workwear called "Booty Bidness Workwear." Rudolph, Poehler and Wiig are placed in various office settings wearing business casual shirts that have phrases like "Nympho" and "Bi-Curious" emblazoned on them.
• Blizzard Man: In the studio, two record executives (Sudeikis and Rudolph) tell Ludacris that although they like his 5th track, they think it needs a better hook. Ludacris put in a call to the fabled "Blizzard Man" (Samberg) to do some studio work with his producer (Thompson). He gets set up in the booth and starts to deliver incredibly weak rap verses. Ludacris is really into his terrible rapping, but everyone else in the studio rightfully thinks he's terrible. They cut their losses but the album turns out to be the least bought album according to Billboard.
• Money Maker: Ludacris song.
• Weekend Update:
  • In the wake of OJ Simpson's announcement that he would be releasing a book and conducting an interview on how he would have killed his wife if he did kill her, John Mark Karr (Hader) gives his thoughts on the situation. Karr tells Meyers that he's sick of OJ Simpson using being falsely accused of murder to remain in the spotlight. He knows that the accusation was false because he claims to be the murderer of Nicole Brown. He also admits to hitting Naomi Campbell's maid with a cell phone, shooting 50 Cent eleven times and killing Bambi's mother.
  • Poehler and Meyers look at the wedding guests from the wedding of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, which seats 8th theton level Scientologists, aliens and Brooke Shields way in the back.
  • Myers flubs a joke about Tobey Maguire having a baby out of "weblock" and is shouted down by Coach Bobby Knight (Sudeikis). He tells Meyers to stay in the game and throws a basketball at him off screen after walking off.
  • Anoosa Rosenfeld (Rudolph), the editor of Sixteen 1/2 Magazine, talks about Thanksgiving. She emphasizes the need to donate food to the needy. She "pressures" teenage girls to "donate" all of their foot until they feel like they're going to pass out. She encourages girls to be bulimic so they could be like skinny actresses Kate Bosworth and Mischa Barton.
• Pool Watch: A low-rent drama on The CW that parodies Baywatch airs about a lifeguard in an Atlanta community pool. A woman starts to drown in the pool, but when someone (Rudolph) tells the lifeguard (Ludacris), he spends so much time taking off his expensive jewelry and clothing that the woman drowns. At one point he calls over his friend (Thompson) to watch his stuff, but then he realizes that he can't swim.
• Hair Transplant Doctor: Dr. Schultz (Ludacris), meets with his 2:30 appointment (Forte) to take off his bandages so that he can see the new grafts. He has his patient cut him a blank check because he can't remember the amount that he charged and gets ready to flee while unwrapping the bandages. The patient's transplanted hair turns out to be the doctor's with the doctor taking his hair to look more like Elton John.
• Lesbian Cruise: On the U.S.S. Olivia, a cruise liner for lesbians, an employee for the ship (Poehler) introduces the women to Captain Ronald Huggins (Ludacris). He assures the passengers that he has their security in mind, but he spends most of his time trying to seduce a lesbian couple (Wiig and Rudolph) and other lesbians. Irritated, they decide to throw the captain overboard.
• Runaway Love: Ludacris song.
• Two Old Men Wondering: Two old men (Hammond and Ludacris) pose questions to each other about why Barney Miller was cancelled and where pudding pops went. They spend the entire sketch asking questions that they can't get answers to until they both break up laughing over Hammond's mustache hanging off his face.

Notes

"Live from New York, It's Saturday Night!"

• Jason Sudeikis as President George W. Bush.

Music

• Money Maker, performed by Ludacris: "Money Maker" is the first single off Ludacris' fifth studio album, Release Therapy. The song was written by Ludacris and Pharrell Williams and ranked highly on various sales charts despite critical opinion being lukewarm at best.

• Runaway Love, performed by Ludacris: "Runaway Love" is the third single from Ludacris' 2006 album. The song features Mary J. Blige, who also appears during the performance to sing her part of the song.

Trivia

The Show

• Turkey Day: In honor of this being the last show before Thanksgiving in the United States, Ludacris is introduced by cast members dressed in turkey costumes before both of his musical performances.