John "JD" Dorian, is a doctor at Sacred Heart Hospital. He first joins the hospital as an intern with his best friend Christopher Turk who then grows over the years to become a resident, and finally a full doctor. In Scrubs you follow JD's life as he works at the hospital with his weird daydreams and intriguing personal life.
- Parents: Sam Dorian (father, deceased)
- Spouses: Elliott Reid (wife)
- Friends: Christopher Turk (best friend)
J.D.: Go ahead, insult me like you always do.
Janitor: Too easy. When you less expect...
Elliot: I put all those flyers up and no one wants me to live with them.
J.D.: Oh, c'mon, Elliot, I'm sure you'll eventually find a roommate who's a clean non-smoking vegetarian that rinses the shower thoroughly after each usage.
Elliot: Well, if you don't it gets mildewy.
J.D.: You should live with my friend, Anal McLooney
Carla: [about a male intern] You're right; he definitely has a cute little butt.
Elliot: It's almost like it's been sculpted.
J.D.: Who cares? Everyone has a cute butt; I have a cute butt.
Carla: You should bring it in someday.
J.D.: Look, uh... Janitor...
[the Janitor rolls his eyes]
J.D.: ...I'm gonna be straight with you: I saw your penis, and I noticed a possible melanoma that you should really have checked out.
Janitor: When did you see my penis?
J.D.: Last night, when you were showering.
Janitor: Where were you?
J.D.: Oh, I was outside, in the bushes.
[the Janitor takes a second to process this answer]
J.D.: Look, it was just a coincidence, man - I mean, i-i-if you had looked out the window, you'd have seen my penis, you know!
Janitor: What? Why?
J.D.: Because I had it out while I was looking at yours!
Janitor: [J.D. and Turk have been stealing hospital supplies] Hey, have you been stealing pudding cups and toilet paper around here?
J.D.: [stammers] No! I hate pudding and I don't use... toilet paper.
Janitor: [Janitor stares]
J.D.: I have one of those French things that shoots water up your butt.
J.D.: BIDET to you sir.
Dr. Kelso: Do you want me to order you a clown?
J.D.: A drunk clown hurt me once.
J.D.: [JD and Turk are lying on the ground] Why are we lying in the parking lot?
Turk: Your hook shot knocked you unconscious and I lied down next to you so everybody would think we were chillin'.
J.D.: Oh. Thanks S.C.B. By the way I should tell you something. I found an apartment and I'm moving out the day after tomorrow.
Turk: Wow. What does S.C.B. mean?
J.D.: Super. Chocolate. Bear.
Turk: I love it.