House, M.D./Kids

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Season 1, Episode 19
Airdate May 3, 2005
Production Number 119
Written by Thomas L. Moran &
Lawrence Kaplow
Directed by Deran Sarafian
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← 1x18
Babies & Bathwater
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Love Hurts
House, M.D.Season One

Kids is the nineteenth episode of the first season of House, M.D..

It serves as a breather between the Vogler storyline - which ended in 1x18 - Babies & Bathwater - and the beginning of the Stacy Warner storyline - which would begin in 1x21 - Three Stories and run all the way up through the first half of the next season. The main subplot is the development of the relationship between House and Cameron.

Starring: Hugh Laurie (Dr. Gregory House), Lisa Edelstein (Dr. Lisa Cuddy), Omar Epps (Dr. Eric Foreman), Robert Sean Leonard (Dr. James Wilson), Jennifer Morrison (Dr. Allison Cameron), Jesse Spencer (Dr. Robert Chase)

Guest Starring: Eddie McClintock (Coach Stahl), Ben Jelen (Dr. Roger Spain), Shari Headley (Dr. Arlene Marks), Erin Foster (Dr. Petra Gilmar), Dylan Kussman (Mr. Carroll), Stephanie Venditto (Brenda)

and Skye McCole Bartusiak (Mary Carroll)

Co-Starring: Kelly Kirklyn (Mrs. Carroll), Tim Haldeman (Mature Man), Geraldine Singer (Woman), Cindy Lu (Nurse), Mark Bloom (Doc #1), Eric Cazenave (Doc #2), Lindsay Pulsipher (Teammate #1), Rhea Lando (Teammate #2), Diego Clare (Dawson)


Plot Overview

With Vogler gone, House asks Cameron to return to her job, but she refuses. The hospital is swamped by a meningitis outbreak at a swim meet, but House is intrigued by Mary Carroll, a twelve-year-old swimmer whose symptoms do not fit. With hospital resources stretched thin, Cuddy gives him little time to make a diagnosis, but Foreman must perform the tests and procedures in the hallways and the morgue. When Mary has blood in her mouth, Foreman realizes her problem is deeper than House at first suspected. Meanwhile, House and Wilson interview potential replacements for Cameron, but House turns them down, even Dr. Petra Gilmar, who seems to be perfect. As Mary's bleeding worsens, emergency surgery is necessary to save her life. House realizes she is pregnant, which tests confirm. She confesses to having sex but asks House not to tell her parents about it or the necessary abortion, although she tells them, instead. Cameron agrees to come back provided House goes on a date with her, and he accepts.

Clinic Patients

Because all the meningitis patients are clinic patients, the majority of people seen on-screen in this episode are clinic patients. Notable cases are:

  • Woman: House clears her for meningitis but says she should "talk to your daughter." He says she has a smudge on her jacket, although the rest of her outfit is freshly dry-cleaned, which indicates someone wore her jacket without her knowledge. "So either your husband is a cross-dresser," he says, "or your daughter's been borrowing your clothes without telling you. She probably wants to look older to get into bars." The Woman reveals she does not have a daughter.
  • Mature Man: (Note: Chase's patient.) A Caucasian with meningitis who worries he is doomed, but Chase says he can be treated.
  • Mary Carroll: Mary Carroll initially checks in as one of the meningitis patients. However, while her fever, rash and neck pain are consistent with the disease, the type of neck pain she has is not. House takes her on as one of his diagnostic patients.
  • Unindentifed Woman: A younger woman whose hair does not smell of chlorine, so she was not at the pool. House admits her to the psych ward, because, "she's come to a quarantined area because she's an idiot, or she's insane. No one is that stupid."
  • Dawson: (Note: Unidentified doctor's patient.) A kid who is not seen being treated, although his surgical mask and blue pass suggest he is another meningitis patient. He is in the bathroom noisily defecating while House, Foreman and Chase confer. House tells him to "try some raisin bran instead of the donuts" and turns on the faucet to encourage him to wash his hands.


Medical Terms

(See the Medical Dictionary for all definitions.)

  • Cuddy says the epidemic is because a swim meet judge's LP turned up meningitis. House says this is not a problem for diagnostics.
  • House orders a lumbar puncture on Mary Carroll and prescribes rifampin in case she has meningitis.
  • When Foreman comes to Brenda, he cuts behind Doc #1, who is requesting a CBC and CHEM-7.
  • Before Foreman gives Mary her lumbar puncture in the hallway, he numbs her with novocaine.
  • Chase tells Mary, "The lavage showed blood in your GI tract."
  • Chase and House find a Dieulafoy on Mary's endoscopy. Foreman hypothesizes it is "a precursor to intestinal intussusception."
  • As Chase, Wilson, Foreman and House discuss Mary's case, Wilson asks if she might have sepsis.
  • On his second visit to Brenda, Foreman says he "can't do a bone marrow aspiration in the hallway."
  • Mary's eyes go blank, and Foreman says she is having an absence seizure. He orders Ativan.
  • House, Foreman and Chase meet in the bathroom to discuss Mary's absence seizures and the results of her EEG. Chase hypothesizes barbiturate withdrawal, but Foreman says drugs would have shown up on tests she was given as an athlete. They are interrupted by Dawson making noise as he defecates, and House asks if he knows what a hemmorhoid is. House orders a CT scan on Mary to look for intracranial bleeding, but Foreman says, "Radiology's totally swamped." Chase suggests they ultrasound her skull instead, and House tells Foreman to "do what the guy who didn't specialize in neurology said."
  • Foreman and Chase say Mary is bleeding in her temporal lobe. House requests a neurosurgeon from Cuddy.
  • After Mary's surgery, Foreman, Chase and House work up a differential diagnosis. Foreman hypothesizes renal failure, but Chase says she has "no blood in her urine or uremia."
  • When Chase and Foreman recheck Mary's blood samples, they find her rash is purpura. Chase hypothesizes thrombotic thrombocytopenic purpura, but Foreman says she was negative for E. coli, and she would not have estrogen from menopause.
  • House tells Mary that her pregnancy has caused TTP, which he will treat with plasmapheresis.

Arc Advancement


  • After being gone for two episodes, Cameron agrees to come back.


  • House and Cameron: Cameron tells House he must go on a date with her, and he accepts.
  • House and Chase: House gives Chase busy work to punish him. Wilson recommends firing Chase, but House says that is unfair.


  • 1x01 - Pilot: House says he is interviewing for someone to replace Cameron, and she says, "I thought you'd just ask them to send a head shot along with their CV." She is referring to that episode, when House said he hired her because she is beautiful.
  • 1x17 - Role Model: Much of this episode revolves around House trying to find a replacement for Cameron and begging her to come back. She quit her job at the end of that episode.
  • 1x18 - Babies & Bathwater: On House's first visit to Cameron, he says, "Vogler is dead. ... Vogler, the idea - Mr. Destructo, Mr. Moneybags, 'Bow down before me.' He is gone from the hospital." Later, Cuddy says the reason she laid off much of the hospital's nursing staff is because House cost her one hundred million dollars. Vogler left his position as Chairman of the Board - and took his hundred million dollar donation with him - in that episode.


The Show

  • House's Cane: When House visits Cameron, she sees he has a new cane. It is thinner and lighter in color than his previous one.

Behind the Scenes

  • Cast Reunion: Although the two actors never share a scene together, Dylan Kussman, who plays Mr. Carroll, previously shared a great deal of screen time with Robert Sean Leonard in the classic 1989 film Dead Poets Society, in which they play prep school students inspired by the maverick English professor John Keating. In the film, Leonard plays Keating's top student, Neil Perry, who commits suicide after appearing as Puck in a stage adaptation of Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream. Kussman, as Richard Cameron, absolves himself of his guilt for Neil's death by telling the school administration that Keating is culpable.

Allusions and References

  • Greg Louganis: To convince Cuddy to let him study Mary Carroll, House says, "Those little pills you're passing out so efficiently aren't gonna do Miss Louganis squat." Greg Louganis was an American Olympic diver who won four gold medals in 1984 and 1988.
  • Whole Foods: House shields his eyes from Cuddy's cleavage, which reminds him of "the produce department at Whole Foods." Whole Foods Market is a chain of natural foods grocery stores in the United States. Its Princeton location is one of eight in New Jersey.
  • The Producers: After the interview with Dr. Petra Gilmar, Wilson shouts, "That's our Hitler!" This is a line from the 1968 Mel Brooks film The Producers. In the film, Broadway producers Max Bialystock and Leo Bloom produce the worst stage musical they can to fleece their investors. Their script, Springtime for Hitler, is a love letter to Adolf Hitler. In the casting sessions, hippie Lorenzo St. DuBois sings an incomprehensible song about flowers. After his audition, Max declares loudly, "That's our Hitler!"
  • Vogue: House dismisses Dr. Petra Gilmar because of her shoes. Wilson asks, "What, did your horoscope in Vogue tell you to avoid women wearing green shoes?" The fashion magazine Vogue is one of the most successful and influential magazines in the world.
  • Prada: Wilson says Dr. Gilmar's shoes are Prada. House says, "You wouldn't know Prada if one stepped on your scrotum." Prada SpA is an Italian fashion company whose shoes are popular amongst the intellectual elite in the United States, Europe and Japan.
  • Women Who Are Not Perfect: When House says Cameron is not perfect, Wilson says, "Nobody's perfect." House lists two women:
    • Mother Theresa: The 20th century Macedonian nun Blessed Mother Theresa of Calcutta became famous for her work with the poor and sick in the Third World slums of Calcutta, India.
    • Angelina Jolie: American film star Angelina Jolie is considered one of the most beautiful women in the world at the turn of the 21st century. Since she has achieved success as an actress, she has devoted much of her time to exposing the plight of poverty-stricken children in such Third World countries as Cambodia.
  • "The Little Mermaid": Cuddy resists granting House his request for brain surgery, but House says, "Our little mermaid is bleeding into her temporal lobe." "The Little Mermaid" is a Danish fairy tale which was collected by the 19th century author Hans Christian Andersen. The story of a mermaid who becomes a human to win the heart of a prince was adapted as a Disney animated movie in 1989.

Memorable Moments

  • House interviews Dr. Roger Spain, a long-haired kid who admires "the way you don't care what anyone thinks. You just do what you want, the way you want." House talks about Spain's blues band and says, "Ah, dude, you are so hired." House says he is lying because of the tattoo on Spain's wrist. Spain says, "Wow. I thought you'd be the last person to have a problem with nonconformity." House replies, "Nonconformity, right. I can't remember the last time I saw a 20-something kid with a tattoo of an Asian letter on his wrist. You are one wicked free thinker. You want to be a rebel? Stop being cool. Wear a pocket protector like [Wilson] does and get a haircut, like the Asian kids who don't leave the library for 20-hour stretches. They're the ones who don't care what you think. Sayonara." After Spain leaves, Wilson asks House if he should eliminate all resumes that do not have Asian names. House says, "Actually, the Asian kids're probably just responding to parental pressure, but my point is still valid."
  • House interviews Dr. Petra Gilmar, an attractive woman. House is late and says, "I was taking a dump." She says, "I'm guessing I'm better off interviewing right after than right before." He asks, "You actually speak four languages, or are you just banking on never being interviewed by anyone who does." She says, "It's true, and I can swear in two more." He asks if she fell for her previous employer, and she is unfazed. He asks her, as a Jewish woman, "Is it true what they say about Jewish foreplay?" She says, "Two hours of begging?" Wilson and House are speechless from her unflappable nature. She says, "Look, I know you like to play games with people. I know you like to say outrageous things and study how they react. What you should know about me is that I grew up with four brothers. Keep your hands to yourself, I'm okay with anything that comes out of your mouth." After she leaves, Wilson shouts, "That's our Hitler!"
  • House tells Mr. and Mrs. Carroll that Mary Carroll has TTP, which is curable. Mrs. Carroll asks what TTP stands for, and House says, "Some really big words that you've never heard before, and when we're done, will never hear again. Have a nice day." Mr. Carroll asks when they can take her home, and House, who has been asked by Mary not to tell her parents about her abortion, and under New Jersey law must comply, answers, "In a few days. She needs some minor surgery to remove the underlying cause before we can do the... another really big word." He says the underlying cause is "an abnormal growth in her abdomen. ... It's very simple [surgery]. We do it here all the time." Mr. Carroll asks, "Could you be a little more specific?" House says, "Actually, no. I'm sorry."


  • Cuddy: You just don't wanna deal with the epidemic.
House: That's right. I'm subjecting a twelve-year-old to a battery of dangerous and invasive tests to avoid being bored. (Foreman, Chase and Cuddy stare at him.) Okay, maybe I would do that, but I'm not.
  • House: Sorry. You just don't usually see breasts like that on deans of medicine.
Cuddy: Oh, women can't be heads of hospitals? Or just ugly ones?
House: No, they can be babes. It's just you don't usually see their fun bags.
  • House: They were stylish and very painful to wear. Only an incredibly shallow, insecure woman would rather be in pain all day long than wear a decent-looking, comfortable shoe, and that's exactly the type I don't need around here.
Wilson: No. Someone who can handle a lot of pain is exactly the type you do need.