Cheers/Homicidal Ham

Homicidal Ham
Season 2, Episode 4
Airdate	October 27, 1983
Written by	David Lloyd
Directed by	James Burrows
Produced by	James Burrows, Glen Charles, Les Charles
Stream
← 2x03 Personal Business	2x05 → Sumner's Return
Cheers — Season Two

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Homicidal Ham is the fourth episode of the second season of Cheers, and the twenty-sixth episode overall.

Starring: Ted Danson (Sam Malone), Shelley Long (Diane Chambers), Nicholas Colasanto (Ernie "Coach" Pantusso), Rhea Perlman (Carla Tortelli), John Ratzenberger (Cliff), George Wendt (Norm Peterson)

Derek McGrath (Andy Schroeder), Paul Vaughn (Paul), Alan Koss (Alan)

and Severn Darden (Professor DeWitt)

Plot Overview

Andy Andy developed a love for acting while in prison, and seeks out Diane to coach him.

Tease

Sam asks a seemingly-near-to-term Carla, "Did you just get pregnant in the last five minutes?" Carla admits that she's pretending to be pregnant in order to get better tips, as she's short and her rent is due. Coach, finding what Carla is doing to be dishonest, tells Sam to make her "get rid of it", but Sam reminds Coach that she's Catholic. As Carla prepares to take a patron's order, the "baby" finds its way to Carla's left side after a collision with another patron. After readjusting her stuffing, Carla states, "Kid's going to be a swimmer!"

1st Segment

Andy Schroeder returns to Cheers. Diane is made nervous by his presence, as she was set up with him previously: "Don't you remember that man? The ex-convict that you paid to date me?" She pleads with Sam to have him remove Andy, calling him dangerous. Sam asks her if he looks dangerous; Andy happily waves back at Sam. Just as soon as Sam walks down to take his drink order, Andy is holding up the bar. It ends up being a ruse for him to be arrested so that he can re-enter prison.

While Sam is in his office to call the police, Diane recognizes that Andy just needs some direction in life and asks him what his heart's desire really is. When he claims to want to be an actor, the bar explodes in laughter. Diane tells Sam to call the police back to ask them to stop. She eventually agrees to get Andy an acting gig so that he can have a purpose in life. They agree to act out a scene in Othello under her direction and the advisement of Professor Sebastian DeWitt, who can apparently "spot an actor a mile away".

2nd Segment

Several days later: The bar watches a boxing match on TV. The round ends, and Sam sets up a train of beers, pushing them slowly towards Norm's spot at the bar. The patrons cycle through, picking up their beers as Sam exhorts them to move quickly. Norm appears in the line four times, and when all the beers have been claimed, Norm exclaims, "Sammy, what does a guy gotta do to get a beer around here?"

Andy and Diane go to the back room of the bar. She talks him through his fears and concerns. Diane introduces him to Professor Dewitt. Afterwards, Andy thanks Diane for all her time and professes his love for her. She returns the profession in a friendly, platonic manner. She then urges him to change into his costume; as he heads towards the bathroom, Sam enters. He and Diane share a tender moment.

Andy walks out of the bathroom, having dressed, and sees Sam kiss Diane. Andy is surprised, thinking that Diane's professed love for him is romantic rather than platonic. Diane tries to let him down easy. Andy states that he'll just channel his anger into his performance: "Yet she must die, else she betray more men."

3rd Segment

The patrons are all seated between the bar and the door. Diane relates the plot of Othello, which clearly mirrors the situation between Andy's Othello and Diane's Desdemona: "This is the story of a man driven by insane jealousy to murder the woman he loves, because he believes that she is in love with another man." Diane notes that they will be acting out the strangulation scene, showing her nervousness in starting and stopping a couple of times before finally beginning the scene. Diane sits up mid-scene before being pelted with wadded up bar napkins. Coach asks Sam what's wrong with Diane, and Sam responds that it's just stage fright, telling Diane, "The sooner you start, the sooner you'll finish!"

Dewitt leans over to a patron, stage whispering, "He's convincing! There's a real ... murderous tensity about him."[sic] Andy chokes Diane. She struggles while Dewitt exclaims, "I love it! A Desdemona that fights back!" Diane breaks free for a moment and screams, "Help! This psycho's trying to kill me!" Coach remarks that it's the only Shakespeare he's ever understood. The patrons finally wise up that the acting isn't faking, when Andy begins screaming, "I saw you kissing Sam! I saw you kissing Sam!" Sam bolts from his perch on the bar and tackles Andy. Norm and Cliff are close behind, with Norm sitting on Andy while Sam comforts Diane.

Arc Advancement

Referbacks

• This is a continuation of the Andy Andy storyline that first appeared in "Diane's Perfect Date".

Quotes

• Diane: One murder does not a murderer make.