Cheers/Personal Business

Personal Business
Season 2, Episode 3
Airdate	October 20, 1983
Written by	Tom Reeder
Directed by	James Burrows
Produced by	James Burrows, Glen Charles, Les Charles
Stream
← 2x02 Little Sister Don't Cha	2x04 → Homicidal Ham
Cheers — Season Two

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Personal Business is the third episode of the second season of Cheers, and the twenty-fifth episode overall.

Starring: Ted Danson (Sam Malone), Shelley Long (Diane Chambers), Nicholas Colasanto (Ernie "Coach" Pantusso), Rhea Perlman (Carla Tortelli), John Ratzenberger (Cliff), George Wendt (Norm Peterson)

Tony Brafa (Mr. Anderson #1), James Ingersoll (Mr. Anderson #2), Patrick Stack (Customer #1)

Plot Overview

After Carla accuses Sam of giving Diane preferential treatment, Diane tries to get a job at an art gallery. Meanwhile, Norm splits with his wife, and sets out to enjoy his newly acquired freedom.

Tease

Coach is seen answering the phone. After hanging up, he announces that Melville's now has a table ready for the Anderson party. Two couples stand up, and after confusing Coach, they finally get him to call Melville's again to confirm which Anderson party's table is ready. He calls Vic, gets it straight, and hangs up the phone, announcing that he was incorrect earlier, and that the table is for "the Blubberbutt Party". The heavyset couple shake their heads and make their way up the stairs.

1st Segment

• Diane asks Carla to switch nights with her so that she can attend a speech. Carla, upset with what she perceives as Sam's preferential treatment towards Diane, refuses and asks that Sam mediate. Sam predictably waffles between deference to friend and long-time co-worker Carla and new love Diane. In frustration, he asks, "Does anyone want to buy a bar?" Diane finally relents and walks off.

• Norm enters the bar:

All: "Norm!"

Coach: "Would you like a beer, Norm?"

Norm: "I'd like to see something in a size 54, sudsy."

After being seated, Norm announces to the crowd that he and Vera have split. After sympathizing with him, the bar convinces Norm that he is a "care-free bachelor". Norm then goes "on the prowl", walking around the bar, looking at the women. After his walk, he returns to his stool, stating, "They know where to find me."

• Diane offers Sam her resignation, handwritten on a ticket. An emotional Carla recounts her life, and then states that Diane's resignation has made her "the happiest woman alive." As she exits, Diane states that she is "doing this for" she and Sam.

2nd Segment

• Diane enters the bar and announces that she has a new job as a proofreader for a small publishing house. "It's been two weeks of hell, but I did it." Cliff turns to Norm and asks him why it's taken him months to get a job when it only took Diane two weeks. "If God had made me a woman, I would never be out of work," responds Norm. "As long as there are carnivals," states Cliff. Carla reluctantly congratulates Diane and then acts as if doing so sends her into shock.

Diane then notes that she hasn't officially gotten the job, upsetting Carla to the point of pantomining banging her forehead against the bar rail. Diane goes on to say that the formality is that her prospective employer wants a reference from her previous employer, telling Sam that he will be calling tonight. Sam replies that he'll tell him that "You're the best cocktail waitress I've ever seen in my life ... and then I'll tell him that I've got some land in Florida I'd like to sell him." As Sam walks into his office, Coach incredulously turns around and asks Sam where it is, as they might be neighbors.

• Norm wonders what Vera is doing that night. Coach asks Norm how he first me Vera. Norm tells everyone that he met Vera in high school, and that she was famous all over the Midwest for giving hickeys: "She gave me one at senior prom that lasted until a year ago Christmas." Cliff encourages Norm to give her a call, and Coach hands him the phone as Cliff sings "Are You Lonesome Tonight" sotto voce. Vera tells Norm that she's about to go out on a date; Norm is first upset, and then tells her that he's going out that night as well. Carla then takes the phone and breathily tells Vera how much of an animal he is. After hanging up, Norm then asks Carla out for coffee; she quickly shuts him down.

• Diane's boss calls Cheers, and Coach answers. Before transferring the call to Sam, he asks who's calling, and upon finding out, berates the caller for being someone who owes him $50. Coach yells at the caller until Sam gets him to relent, but as he passes off the phone, Coach asks Sam to "put him back on when you're through." Sam answers the phone and gives a glowing recommendation of Diane before being asked what he thinks of her, "man-to-man". Sam is asked a question that he doesn't want to answer, but Diane entreats him to answer it. He does, saying, "Yeah, I've seen her naked." Diane grabs the phone from Sam and tells him that she'd never work for him if it was the last job in Boston.

Diane relates that all of her job offers have been sexually stilted, and Sam empathizes with her. He offers her a chance to return to Cheers, and she eventually agrees. The bar cheers this news, save Carla, who again bangs her head on the bar rail. Sam then asks Diane to come with him that night to his place. After she agrees, he runs into his office to prepare to leave. She follows him, asking why he has re-hired her. She explains that she's "the best combination girlfriend/waitress in the city, and you stink as a waitress." Diane is upset, comparing Sam to her prospective boss. She asks for a list of reasons to know that Sam isn't just hiring her for sexual purposes. Diane and Sam then each blame the other for choosing her employment as a result of their mutual attraction.

As a result, Diane challenges the two of them to refrain from physical contact for one month to solidify the boundaries of their personal and professional relationships. Sam then attempts to bargain her down to first two weeks and then one; Diane then bargains down to a day, and Sam then to an hour. Diane states that she feels that fifteen minutes might be adequate; when Sam states that this is the amount of time it takes to drive to his place, the pair jump from their seats and race out the door, followed by the credits.